Diary: Diner Girl Déjà Vu

I hate high school movies. Stop looking back! To me, life should always get better. To quote my ex-favorite singer, HYDE, “a peak never ending,” but if you dwell on that too long, it just sounds like a plateau. I think of life as a mountain slope, each step brings me to a higher altitude, not because everything is dandy, but rather I am learning more, helping someone, improving myself…

I am in the States, and I do not want to be here; however, I work hard each day, helping my mom. Each day, I feel as if there is not enough time in the day. Each day, I worry about getting stuck here.

Last Saturday, I came across a moving scene: a girl is humiliated at a pep rally and is outed as the mystery girl who’s been instant messaging the quarterback. The setting switches to the girl in and oversized, buttoned-up tan trench coat with her her grey baseball cap pulled low, holding her books tightly to her chest as students behind her point and laugh. We then see her at her after school job, on hands and knees scrubbing the diner floor.
Her African American manager comes in and says, “Honey, what are you doing?” Samantha: “I’m scrubbing the floor.”
Manager: “Yes, I see that. Sweetheart, what are you doing with your life?”
Samantha: “Don’t you see? I’m diner girl. This is who I am, who I’ll always be.”
Manager: “No, honey. Your father wouldn’t want this for you.”
Then, her stepsister flounces in, slamming the chrome door behind her. The tacky guitar falls, tearing off the unfortunate wallpaper to reveal a paternal motto long forgotten:

Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Isn’t it funny how something from the past, say, teenage years or childhood, can teach you something? I felt exactly the same way, crying like I did 10 years ago. I got a huge scholarship, studied abroad on scholarship, and then worked in Japan. My exciting life is not over yet! I will fly again.

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