Diary: Through the Fog

May 8

Dear Diary:

I am in a transitional phase. I dislike not knowing where I will live and what I will be doing six months from now. For the past year, I have prepared in small ways: improving my Japanese and selling things I no longer need. After a job fair, I spent hours watching motivational speakers online, doing informational interviews, and updating my resume. Then, I started this blog. I enjoy telling others about cafes in Japan, but now, I want to write about my daily life, too. Tweeting isn’t enough. Also, I want to make this blog bilingual for my Japanese readers.

Two weeks ago, I became overwhelmed. This feeling stemmed from not having a clear career path and focusing on menial tasks. For example, if the day was sunny, I took photos of gothic & lolita outfits, went to work, took more photos, uploaded photos to Pinterest, and edited photos until bedtime. I reasoned that because my future apartment may not have much natural light, I should try to finish photographing all of the gothic & lolita outfits I have ever worn before I move to a cubicle-sized apartment. As I said in Mond Cafe, I like finishing things. Thus, I weaved in and out between feeling as if there weren’t enough hours in the day and wasting those hours watching Poirot reruns instead of beginning the job application process in Japan. Thanks to friends and kick-in-the-pants sermon, my motivation for the Japanese job hunt returned! My pastor reminded us that we need to faithfully read our Bibles, pray, and obey God if we want to be in prime condition to make the next step.

Golden Week gave me extra time to set goals and have fun, too. Have I completed all of my objectives? No, but I am making headway. If you are feeling lost, you are not alone, so don’t feel discouraged!


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